I think I may have got distracted somewhere along the way

I am feeling a bit better today. Thank goodness for that. It is so very frustrating being so annoyed over so little. It is also very tiring and a waste of my life. Happiness is much more satisfactory, and I shall try to do this instead. Except that one cannot do happiness, as far as I know. But you know what I mean.

Anyway, posts complaining are often very boring indeed, especially if the writer can't even be bothered to format them correctly. I shall therefore talk of joyful things.

I should have some fuchsia alpaca wool arriving any day now. Also some knitting needles in the wrong size (1.25mm too big).* How exciting! In a totally novel and unpredictable move, I shall then knit myself a scarf. It will be the wrong shape, I expect, but I think that it might be a good idea to let go of the perfection thing until my second knitting project.

I think I milked that subject for all it was worth today.**** Now to milk another.

I am surrounded by boxes at the moment. Many of them now contain lots of things, including HWSNBN's CD collection. This is a big collection. If this move has done nothing else, it has given him an opportunity to sort this out and retrieve a couple of his CDs from my CD rack. One of them (my favourite one) was just an empty case.***** It turned out that this is because he had put the CD in his car CD case, for traveling - its missing-ness was not my fault at all! In fact, it was not actually missing at all, and I did not get into trouble! Yay for CDs!

I also started to sort out my shoes. I have selected about eight pairs I am happy to get rid of (well, about five pairs I am happy to get rid of, and three pairs I want to keep (including my favourite shoes in the world ever (2002-2007, RIP), which have flowers on the soles so that they make patterns when I walk on the sand), but have decided that it just isn't sensible), and kept two boxes of them. No, I am not counting. I might post a photo when they are installed, though. Not of the shoes specifically, more of the new house. I imagine that I will be very proud of my work when we are installed, and will want to show it off. I do sound a little weird, though, wanting to post photos of shoes. There are only two pairs I really consider to be photo-worthy (plus my favourite pair ever); my new strappy ankle shoes and my black leather knee-high boots which don't really fit me but which are too new, lovely and gorgeous to get rid of. Ever. They will go really well with my corset, should I have occasion to wear such an outfit.

Anyway, I have one box of shoes packed (I can't go anywhere posh until after we move now), and a few big ones (boots) standing by until I open another box for my shoes. I think that I will start to sort out my clothes on Saturday afternoon, after the landlord has visited. Tomorrow evening, HWSNBN will move most/all of the boxes to his mum's garage; when I return from climbing I can give the bathroom a preliminary good clean (in case the landlord wants to see it), and HWSNBN will hopefully do something with the kitchen.

Of course, we still have to go to The Field and take all of the flagstones which have been hanging around to the vegetable patch (I want to complete the paths this year) on Saturday. While we are there, we really ought to take some trees for planting, as I am getting little tired of carting trees around. Also, I think that they would probably like their freedom. I would really like to see the purple hazel grow big and strong, and it is not going to do that in a little pot. Having said that, I think that I will keep the acers in pots, and will probably also have to keep the twisted ?willow? ?hazel? and the little dangly tree, which has catkins. Does that make it a willow? And the two hostas. Possibly a pot of mint (although I will probably liberate all of that, too - it is out-competing the nettles where it has been planted, and I know that I would rather have hills overrun with mint (which does not sting you and tastes good on its own) than nettles (which do, and which I haven't tasted). I am sure that I have lots of other random little plants which need moving, but I can't remember them just yet.

Another task I must complete is the plotting of the vegetable patch. I need to ascertain whether or not I have permission to bring some of my friends along to help with the growing/weeding (and possibly also the mowing - Rose is the adventurous sort, and would probably be up for that. I don't expect she has had a go on a ride-on mower before). If I do, we need to sketch out a plan for what will be grown in each bed soon, and get the peppers started. Ideally, they need to get going in February, so if I could get permission on Saturday I could speak to them on Sunday and arrange a date to meet up and discuss options.

Although there are certain things which must be done with the design of the plot (I am trying to get into a strict rotation pattern, so that each bed only has potatoes once every six years - there are 8 beds, two of which have semi-permanent and permanent dwellers, and which are subject to a different rotation pattern from the other beds. Lettuces went there last year), we can afford to be adventurous with the actual vegetables we grow. I need to make the order soon, though (although I will be eke-ing out the seeds I have left from previous years where possible, and I do already have a full complement of potatoes. But the artichokes need splitting ASAP - they were looking really tired last year. Bugger - I forgot to make a note of which ones were doing well, and which were not).

Also, Rose and Ele will be giving up plastic for Lent, which adds a bit of complication to getting compost for starting off seedlings. Hopefully the stuff I have already will do - that was bought last year, and so is exempt from their ruling. I hope. Otherwise, I am sure that they will be happy to extract their own topsoil from The Field.

Did I ramble? Sorry about that. I suddenly realised that I am not nearly busy enough at the moment. I hope that this vegetable patch helping thing works - we could get a really good crop (weather permitting) this year. Oh, and Ele and I will make wine. That will be fun, too. Not before we move, though. I packed my wine book, and will pack the equipment any day now.


*Yes, I know - the brief was to talk about something joyful and interesting.** I do not look likely to succeed at either. It should be less angry, though - is that any good?

**Well, the "interesting bit was implicit, insofar as I was suggesting that writing boring things was bad; people who do that are usually getting at the necessity to write interesting things, although they could just really be in to*** boring things.

***in to? into? Probably the latter. The former just looks weird.

****Don't worry - you will get to hear of it again.
Goodness me; this level of sarcasm is hard to bear sometimes, isn't it. If it were funny it could be more useful, but I am using the whole "let's try to make this slightly funny by pointing out that it isn't really very interesting (to put it politely) to the vast majority of people" gag a little bit too often. Should I accept that these things are not interesting and just stop using the gag, or should I jut think that those who do not find it fascinating don't have to read it, and stop trying to make it funny? Whichever way you look at it, I should be limited to using that inexpert device twice a month at most. Please don't count, though; you'll only disappoint me when you point out my mistake. Although I will be impressed that you noticed.

*****Actually, this was not the case. (sorry) It contained one of my learn Italian CDs. My learn Italian CD case, however, did not hold the corresponding CD of HWSNBN; effectively, the case was empty, only with a few hopeful moments when I thought I would be able to retrieve the lost item without getting into trouble.

Today - now with title!

Today has been a busy day. I woke up at 11.15, but was able to spend another 55 minutes just lying there. That was nice. I wish that I had the opportunity to do that more often; it would probably make it quite boring after a few goes, and I would just get up and get stuff done.

Having got up and eaten breakfast, we went into City for Potato Day. This is an annual event during which one can purchase organic seed potatoes for 15p each. I bought 36 potatoes (6 each of 6 varieties) and am pleased with my haul. Last year they did not have Maris Peer (2nd early) in stock, but this year they did: cause for much rejoicing, and all that. They also still had Red Duke of York (1st early) and Arran Victory (maincrop), which was great - I love the red and purple ones the most: it's like digging up jewels, then you get to eat them! Also, I like to make a potato salad out of Red Duke of York for my birthday party in June. Last year it took a whole row of them to make one potato salad, but it is always worth it. I also bought Bamboo, a salad potato, Remarka (maincrop - good at blight resistance, apparently) and Maris Bard (1st early). These are an experiment, and I hope they pay off. At the very least, I hope not to have the blight problems we had last year and the year before. Please, God, make it rain less this year.

After that had been achieved, we went to HWSNBN's mother's house and painted the garage floor. We used a little over half the tin for the first coat - I really hope we have enough for the second coat tomorrow. The wind kept blowing leaves onto the wet paint (where did they come from? Autumn was ages ago! Having said that, I was looking at some fat sheep a few days ago and wondered how they had got so fat, it being autumn and them, presumably, being only recently impregnated. I now realise that I was wrong; autumn was ages ago, and they will be giving birth very shortly. Saw my first 2009 lambs this morning), which was frustrating: it was very satisfying to shut the garage door. I am now less than enthusiastic about the second coat, which is a shame. I was hoping to have enough enthusiasm to do both coats without any problems, but that does not look likely. HWSNBN's mum will be making us dinner after we finish the second coat, though, which is a good incentive.

Speaking of whom, I looked under her bathroom sink today and discovered a stockpile of my soaps. I though that she had run out, but it doesn't look as though she is using them at all. Ah well - it means that I don't have to worry about making enough for her next time. More for Serena, who doesn't seem to use any other sort of soap at the moment. It is a bit frustrating, though - I think I gave her some of my best soaps, which I have now run out of. I want to give them to someone else now (i.e. Linda - no way I'm going to be able to make her a lavender soap in the near future, but I know a person who has one going spare now), but never mind. At least I know now. It is very frustrating always to receive the wrong presents from people, which they mistakenly believe that one likes, but one, in fact, hates. I shall be able to avoid doing that, and potentially inducing guilt, now. She would be better off with some of my soaps than with that liquid soap she uses, though - mine are full of all sorts of goodies.

Sorry - did I just go off on one? Please be assured that there are no hard feelings there, although there is an awful lot of poorly written stuff.

As it appears that I am currently operating on an "it is in my head; let's get it out here" basis, may I take a moment to say how much I love my new shoes? They are black and shiny, and have long ankle straps which go round twice. They look quite elegant, which is unusual for shoes belonging to me. They are also really comfortable for climbing shoes.* Which is something, I suppose. I hope that I will have worn them in sufficiently to be worn on an actual outing some time soon...

Other than that, it appears that the truffles I made before Christmas really need eating now (damn), so I am making a gentle start with that. Two is a good start; I can have a few more tomorrow.

Now I had better practise tomorrow's hymn. I could do with sounding as though I have seen an organ before, as we have a visiting preacher. Also, I mustn't forget to collect Jeanne on my way there - must text her now to remind her she's supposed to be waiting for me...



*Climbing shoes are not comfortable. They have to be really close-fitting to be useful, and this often has its disadvantages. I would love it if all climbing shoes were as comfortable as these shoes; alas, they are not.

Review of 2008

So, another year is just about to end. I get the impression that it is traditional (although by no means compulsory) to do a round-up of the year's events, and possibly also to express one's New Year's resolutions, should one be the sort of person who goes in for that sort of things. I tend not to; there tend to be things I am trying to improve about myself no matter what time of year it is.

As this blog does not stretch back this far, my review begins in late 2007: on 12th September 2007 I handed in my MSc dissertation, ending two years of struggle (and joyous part-time work). I got my results a while later, and they were good; exactly what I had set out to achieve and not a mark more. I applied for a job on a new project teaching statistics to social science students and came second, but the lecturers in charge of the project were interested and suggested we do a research project together. I started putting together ideas. After a while they changed their minds and suggested that I would be better doing a PhD first, so I got an application in and started to apply for funding.

Meanwhile, HWSNBN's dad was ill. It turned out that the problem was a brain tumour, rather than depression and diabetes, and he died on 21st December 2007. We don't know that medical competence would necessarily have improved matters (he might have suffered through chemotherapy and radiotherapy then died anyway, with much more knowledge of his impending demise), but, you know, it is nice to know one can trust one's doctors. His funeral was on 28th December; thus 2008 started without him alive in it at all.

The start of 2008 saw me trying to obtain PhD funding (I think the interview was in March) and failing to do so (naturally this is because the panel was biased; there can be no other reason), then looking towards the open funding competition, whose deadline was at the beginning of May.

In the meantime, I tried to become good at climbing (at times building up a reasonably convincing amount of stamina and strength) and have now got to the stage where my skill level far outstrips my physical capabilities. I got this way by doing nothing, literally. For three months. Next time I go climbing my abdominal muscles will not be my friends for several days afterwards.

I also worked on martial arts (Kiaido Ryu); the moves are starting to become more instinctive, but I am still not particularly good. This stopped in September, and will resume on 13th January, at which point I expect to get into rather a large amount of trouble for my lack of fitness.

Hmm, this is jumping about a bit. Back to March, I think. I went to France to stay with Louise in the Toulouse region. That was fun, and the food and wine were excellent. I took great care to appreciate them both fully, and upon my return my climbing harness needed some adjustment. I returned to visit her in Bordeaux in July, and took Anne with me. That was fun. Bordeaux is lovely and I recommend that you visit it (and stay somewhere central) should you get the opportunity. Louise's room had three massive French windows and a balcony overlooking the street. I liked it a lot. Again, we appreciated the food and wine, and Anne got a taste of French pub life.* She did not, however, have much to drink, what with being 12 and not into that sort of thing.

August marked the results of the PhD funding competition. I was looking forward to being a full-time student in October, but had also been wondering whether academia was right for me. I decided that I would take the funding if it was offered to me, but if it was not I would look into becoming an organ builder, as this was something I had vaguely considered for many years, but had not thought possible. Upon failing to be awarded this funding, I did nothing. The letter I had to write to the organ building firm I had selected was daunting because if I got it wrong they would not want me. Eventually, with the help of a couple of good friends, I got it written and submitted in October, I think. They told me that I should learn joinery, then get back in touch with them, so I set about finding a teacher, who shall be known hereafter as Brian. Because that is his name. Brian is a Master Craftsman of many years standing, and seems to be a good teacher. Apparently I am a good student, too, although I must back this up with some actual joinery before we next meet, next week.

Since August, I have mostly just been getting things done; it has not really been a happy time. In September I got a nasty cough and ended up with breathing difficulties which still have not been resolved; their cause has not yet been revealed, for starters. They are very annoying. I have done pretty much no exercise since September due to lack of time and inclination.

In December I played the organ for a carol service, which seemed to go well. This improved my playing, but brought to light the inadequacies of both my organ and my shoes. I am looking to buy new shoes.

I also learned how to make felt.

As 2009 starts, then, there are things that I must do. Firstly, I must get back in touch with my PhD supervisors and look into re-applying for funding. Having worked so hard, it seems a shame to turn down funding should it be available. Academia is more lucrative than organ building (which really does not say much for organ building).

I must also work on becoming good at joinery. Whatever happens, I want to give organ building a go, and I am not going to achieve that by sitting on my bottom. I also have plans to start making musical instruments, such as simple flutes. I am sure that it will be good for me, and also hope that it will be fun. I shall chart this on my other blog, I expect.

I need to get fit again; martial arts demands it, and climbing helps to engender it, as does yoga. These will be my focus in all of the free time that I have lying around.

I have to improve my organ playing, and shall make efforts to do so, probably in the two hour gap I have free between work and Postgrad group on Monday evenings. I am also looking in to buying an electric organ for home, but have so far found them to be too expensive and too far away. Roll on the recession, and all that. That shrinks the country.

Most importantly, I should be a better friend. I am apt to see my lack of free time as an excuse (to be fair, a lack of free time does make it difficult to take on extra things), and not be there for people except for by prior arrangement. I need to do more things to make people feel good about themselves.

I want to make a success of my vegetable garden this year. Realistically, I am not going to do this unless the weather is good. The last two years have been damp and crap, and I have failed miserably (although there are now more paths, and I have materials to make sure there are paths throughout). If the weather is good this year, I may be able to salvage the project and grow something worth mentioning. Of course, if the weather is good I will need to water it (it resides about 7 (or is it 3 1/2?) miles away), but that can only improve how well I look after it.

I want to blog more regularly and more impressively. I speak mostly of suitable use of English, and of not mangling sentences, but decent subject matter is not to be sneezed at.

OK; there are rather a lot of imperatives there. I suppose that none of them is important if I am happy to stagnate. I am not happy to stagnate; I want to do more, see more and experience more. And yes, they are a tall order; they involve keeping going at things and not giving up. I can do that. I shall review this post this time next year and marvel about how much has changed, hopefully. I hope that the changes are good.

So any New Year's resolutions, anyone?

*What sort of a phrase is this? How embarrassing.

Bonfire night

Today is Bonfire night, as far as the city council is concerned. To this end, I shall be going shopping, having some food with Serena, watching the fireworks, going to the pub, then going to The Field to see more fireworks. Oh yes, and I must practise the hymns for tomorrow. I said that I could play the first one, which I probably can, but I was actually thinking of a different one when I responded with enthusiasm. As I have learned both of them, and I am seemingly a little dense, I often confuse them for each other. I started learning tomorrow's hymn sooner, I think (probably about a decade ago...), so it may be deeply ingrained... Anyway, my pedal technique has come on in leaps and bounds (as it were) these past few weeks, so I am hopeful. If I arrive on time tomorrow morning, I shall give it a go.

Yeah, there's not really anything worth reading today, either. I am confident that I shall have something to say within a few days, though. Now I must have a shower, in order to have some chance of accomplishing everything is is necessary to accomplish within a suitable time frame...

Picking hymns

The new vicar has decided that I am to have responsibility for picking three of the hymns for each service. She Who Plays The Guitar will presumably be picking the other three.

This freedom of choice is both a good and a bad thing. On the plus side, I get to play the hymns I want to play; on the minus side, when they go wrong it is even more my fault than it was before. Additionally, it will take up extra time. However, it will be good for me.

Today is my first day of doing this - they have to be chosen before tomorrow. My theme is:

“The first shall be last and the last first”
that for us even to die is gain as we shall suffer for the Lord’s sake here on earth

i.e. God’s gracefulness and our being willing to suffer for the glory set before us!*

Hmm. I wonder if there is a section at the back of one of my hymn books telling me what to do here. I'll let you know how I got on with this after Sunday's service.

In Other News, they continue to demolish the building behind my office. At the moment, due to the powers that be finally turning the heating on, the weather has improved and so I need to have the window open. The destructors have responded by using loud machinery; it's a relaxing backdrop for a productive and fulfilling day.

The digger thing has escaped unscathed (or got nicked - either way, it is not there any more), and a lot of the ceiling those industrious men appeared to be painting is now rubble. It has decorative twisted steel reinforcements hanging down, rather like jungle foliage.

The destructors are kindly propping up the wall which belongs to both the rapidly disappearing building and the one next to it, which I assume they want to keep. There is a big archway from the outside into a part of building which has probably never had outside from that particular direction before; this has those long steel rods commonly used for propping up bits of buildings and mine shafts in the middle. There are suspicious-looking brieze block sections, where it appears there used to be a doorway which is no longer considered to be useful.**

It looks as though they are packing up for the day. I shall have an hour of silence before returning home and to the barbecue - we will be poisoned with the rest of the leftovers from Saturday, which were not frozen at the time. I hope they are OK. I am also not suitably attired in the slightest - I am wearing an ankle-length synthetic dress made some time in the early 70s, which will not appreciate coming into contact with hot sparks. Or, you know, cold sparks. Sparks in general, really. Hopefully HWSNBN will rise to the occasion and bring me cosy things to wear...



*Doesn't it throw in a lot of excess HTML code when copying and pasting from an e-mail? I was amazed!

**Presumably because it would open several metres in the air onto a building site.

Stuck

I'm cooking dinner for HWSNBN and his mother this evening. Unfortunately, due to an excess of crapness on my part, the roast pork will not be ready until 8pm at the earliest. HWSNBN's mum does not like to eat after about 6.30. Once again, I have messed up and I feel bad.

I also managed to be too late for the vegetable shop - I thought it closed at 6, but it turns out it closes at 5 on a Sunday. As a result, I can only offer one carrot and half a swede in the orange vegetables section. I have no apples to make sauce. I have frozen peas, and purple beans from the vegetable patch, and purple potatoes (peeled - you can't really tell they were purple now), so I can fake a roast dinner - it's just that the timing is so very wrong.

I've just opened the oven and the pork looks amazing. It's just had its 30 minutes at 230C, and I had to let the heat out to take it to 160C, where it will stay for 90 minutes. It's quite a large bit of pork. I bought it because it was on offer, and put it straight into the freezer. Alas, I roasted a joint which had been in there for a few months recently, and it was not good. I don't know what happened to it (maybe the freezer turned itself off...), but it led me to the conclusion that I must defrost and roast all of the meat over a certain age in there (that age is anything I put in before yesterday). So now I am working on that. I do hope food poisoning is not the result. None of this meat will be served at all rare!

The reason I waited until so late to start cooking is that I am not having a happy day. Church did not go well - I am too easily irritated at the moment. Just as I was about to start playing this morning, the guitar started.* In a way, this is great - it means that I do less work but still get the same amount of money. I find that hard to argue with! However, I would have appreciated the chance to run through the hymns beforehand. It would also have been good to have been forewarned that the organ sounds like it is dying before the introduction to the first hymn. Poor darling - it is not at all a well little organ, and it needs tuning again.

The next badness came during the second hymn. The person who was singing most loudly was not singing the same rhythm as I was trying to play. I suspect that she was right,** but that didn't really help me. As I was distracted, I played lots of wrong notes. I am such a crap organist.

To make matters worse, she who plays the guitar is really good. I would feel a lot better about this if I wasn't being shown to be the lesser musician. I would not be shown to be the lesser musician if I did enough practice - if I worked at this, I would be good. Therefore it is all my fault in the end. Grr.

Finally, I got lots of notes wrong in the voluntary. I think that I had given up by then.

After church I went shopping and bought, among other things, some wine making kit. We are hoping to make elderberry and blackberry wine from those we find growing around the edge of The Field. I am looking forward to that.

As I was returning to the car, Heather called me. She sort of invited me round to hers for a cup of tea.*** When I arrived, she fed me and gave me wine instead. We both moaned about our respective lack of movement - her with a project she cannot move forward with until next year, me with projects which have not worked out - now I have to come up with new plans. After feeding me, she gave me tea and I felt better. Not completely better, but I think I shall have to make a lot of changes before I feel completely better.

She also helped me a little with a letter I am writing at the moment. Should this letter achieve its desired aim, my life will be thrown into utter turmoil for a bit. Should this happen, I shall record the results in this blog. It will be very exciting, but is rather daunting.

Sorry about skirting round this. There are some things one shouldn't share with the Internet, but the unbloggable crapness which is consuming my being at the moment says that it deserves a passing mention.

Update: Dinner tasted fine - I am reasonably confident nobody has been poisoned...



*OK, so it wasn't that the guitar started; it was that somebody started playing it. Somebody was supposed to be playing it. I feel incredibly petty.

**Well, officially I suspect that she was right. Between you and me, I was not convinced, even though, deep down, I trust her knowledge of the song more than mine. Deep breaths....... And, relax.

***She suggested we should meet in town for a coffee - I invited myself round to hers.

Soap, vegetables and secondary school

Yesterday's soap has turned a very strange colour - it's lilac (for want of a better word) on the outside, and a weird greenish shade on the inside. I wonder if this is to do with drying out, pH, or oxidation. Or something else I haven't thought about. I hope it improves before tomorrow, at which point I have to give some of it to somebody.

It has all been cut up and is drying in shoe boxes (what? Do you not use shoe boxes to dry soap?), which are useful because they stack well. I now have to start packaging some in preparation for tomorrow.

I went to The Field to gather some vegetables in payment for this bike, only to be met with evidence of my inadequacy. Although I had plenty of beans (plenty being a conservative description) and more than enough artichokes, the peas were long past their best, and it appears that I failed to plant any radishes. This means that I do not have the means to 'pay' for my bike tomorrow. I am hoping to pop into a vegetable shop and fake the peas, but I don't think there is much I can do about the radishes. The really galling thing is that, had I made it there last week, I would probably have had massive amounts of lovely fresh peas to eat, all by myself. I shall have to do better next year. If we get any sun, that will be easier.

*******************

My baby sister, Anne, starts secondary school tomorrow. She will be attending my old school. Our cousin, who is fifteen, will be walking to school with her, which is good - it's reassuring to have someone to walk in with on the first day, and a co-pupil is much more useful and less embarrassing than a parent. She is so lucky to get on with her cousin so well, and to have her living so close by.

When Anne was born, I was fifteen. It seemed that it would take an awfully long time for her to reach this age, and it did. I was mindful that by the time she was my age, I would be 30. I couldn't imagine what I would be doing at that age, and I am still unsure. I don't foresee any children by that point, but I have no clue what career I will be in (I've narrowed it down to four possibilities, one of which is what I am doing now; I could be completely wrong). It doesn't really matter - it's just an age.

Anne was a delightful little baby (except at bedtime), and was wonderful until she was three, then a bit annoying until she was seven, and has reverted to being delightful. Long may it last... I have been making a point of spending time with her these past two summers, as I know she will not be a child for much longer. Last summer she came to stay for a long weekend, and we sat on The Field, eating most of the peas we were picking for the parents, until she suggested we should stop. This year, we visited our other sister, Louise, in Bordeaux.* She had a lovely flat, right in the centre, with a balcony accessible from her bedroom windows. The cockroaches were much cuter than I expected, too. Anne behaved beautifully, and was a lot less annoying than I.** It was good to have the opportunity to get to know her a little better before she changes into a grumpy teenager. I do not look forward to that.

Anyway, good luck to her as she embarks on the next stage of her life. I do hope she turns out to be less lazy than I was, and that she makes friends as good as mine.

*She has actually just arrived back in the UK, I think - she was due to be collected from the airport at 10.30.

**I do hope it doesn't hurt too much if she falls off this pedestal. She's a gymnast, so she should be able to think of an imaginative landing...