... is somewhat itchy. Even my face has been getting in on the act, which is unusual. I predict that this experiment will end before the weekend is over. My new, magic, anti-histamine cream needs to be applied directly to the source of the itching, and I am not entirely convinced that the tube will last all that long (nor spread as far as is necessary)!
Had a bit of a rough drive to work this morning. My drive involves a steep hill, and I held the car on the clutch for most of this hill, which involved quite a bit of queueing. There was a bit of a funny smell - kind of the same smell as appears when brakes are sticking and about to die in an expensive, and potentially life-threatening, way.* I don't think it's the brakes; clutch sounds more likely. I do hope I haven't killed it.
Anyway, I hope that the car will get me home (to my parents' house - 1 1/2 hours drive away) this evening without any problems. If it does, I think that we can call it a blip, and I can avoid showing off my (actually quite impressive) clutch control skills while queueing on a hill in future. The handbrake's there for a reason! It's booked in for a service and four new tyres on Monday (Argh! Expensive!), so, assuming it makes it that far, I shall get it checked out then. If it does not make it that far, I am in for an unfortunate evening. Last week I was late because the cat was sick;** it would be great to arrive early today...
Tomorrow, of course, marks the day of cleaning very dirty bits of organ. I do hope there is not too much wire wool involved - it's like a tiny little cactus, and leaves tiny little spines behind in my fingers, sometimes. Very irritating. They are not easy to locate, nor to extract.
*As they did on my Peugeot 205 a few years ago, when the brakes failed at some traffic lights. Turns out that the problem was not an entirely harmless stone in the mechanism (although, in retrospect, a stone doesn't sound all that great), and was instead that the callipers on the brake had seized up. Good job the handbrake worked!
**I spent last week cat-sitting, which was fun apart from the clearing up of the cat sick. I maintain that I do not want a cat of my own.
Showing posts with label Car. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Car. Show all posts
Thursday, 15 October 2009
Thursday, 16 July 2009
Erm...
Yeah. So that was, once again, a bit of a break between updates. I am being exactly the sort of blogger I expected to be. Ah well - it's good that I know myself!
I am not entirely sure that I want to say what I have been up to since my last update. I suppose that I shall start and see what comes out...
It would appear that I am not quite so good at coping with life as I would have myself believe. After a rough couple of years (not all that bad, but somewhat wearing - I mean, there was an awful lot of good stuff happening, but the stuff that failed to happen no matter how hard I tried apparently caused me to give up), it was brought to my attention that I was not actually coping very well with life. After a few weeks of trying to get better by positive thinking/additional free time/rest and relaxation/counselling, I came to the conclusion that my brain was not going to play to any suitable timescale. The anxiety just kept being there all the time, even when there was nothing for me to be anxious about. That was wearing, too. That remains wearing, I suppose.
To cut a long, only briefly sketched, story short, I went on anti-depressants a week ago. I think that I am starting to feel a bit better. Certainly, the anxiety feels less important. I have got very good at ignoring a low level of anxiety and carrying on as normal, and as coming across as a well-adjusted person with a sense of humour (sometimes even I believe it!), but that's not really enough; constant anxiety is just stupid, and helps nobody.
So that's the story of just me and my brain. There are other things going on, though. HWSNBN is due to be moving out at the end of August, if not before, in such a way that we will no longer be partners: a break-up will ensue. This has implications for my housing situation; I cannot afford to have a whole house to myself, especially since my hours have been reduced to four days per week. I must either find somebody else to move in with me, or get rid of some of my stuff (!?!?!) and find myself a room elsewhere. I am currently advertising for another housemate (HWSNBN would move out as soon as this person was ready to move in), but I think that I should probably actually just bite the bullet and move in with someone else. It will be good for me to get rid of some of my things, and will leave me better-prepared for moving wherever I need to move when my organ building career finally takes off (2021?).
The parents have been very supportive. Having just that morning discovered that my wing mirror had been removed in the night (£200 of damage!), I drove into my parents' gate post with the back of my car. It was the other side from the missing wing mirror, so there was no way I could pretend it was the same accident! Not that I would do that, you understand. Anyway, I went inside and cried at both of my parents about the car damages, my stupidity, and my boyfriend announcing his departure, and they fed me and gave me whisky. Not much whisky, though - they were being responsible, after all. They looked after me for a very pleasant couple of days (I don't take much looking after, really - just regular cups of tea and whatever food happens to be going). They also said that I am welcome to go and live with them any time, although they did say that if I moved my stuff into my house I was only to fill Robert's bedroom to the extent that he could still get to his bed. What's the point of being the eldest if I have to abide by that sort of rules? Anyway, I was thinking that if I put his bed in the garden, that would remove that problem: I'm hardly going to want to keep my stuff in the garden, as it would get wet. He can have my tarpaulin.
I am mostly trying not to think about HWSNBN's departure. Although it is the right thing to happen, this is the guy with whom I have spent the majority of my twenties. At one point I thought I was going to marry him (OK, so it was only for a couple of months, but even so...). It is going to be very sad. I am also going to be very financially vulnerable. Sadness tinged with fear! What a tasty little combination.
Ah well - hopefully the drugs will help me to deal with the mechanics of the situation, and I can finish processing it when I am in a happier place. I think I have done enough processing of my situation to be going on with, and would like a break from that sort of thing, really. It would be very nice just to be able to cope with life like a normal person again, even when ever so slightly bad things (such as needing to turn the flashy Internet box off and on again) happen. Even when bigger bad things (such as one's boyfriend leaving one) happen.
It's all OK, really. Certainly, things feel better. Not better better, but much less bad. I have demonstrated that I have both enough motivation and enough togetherness (wrong word - do you know what I mean) to publish a blog post. Actually, that isn't technically accurate as I type, but if you have read it, then it is.
So, watch this space. But please don't hold your breath - I would hate to be held liable for your death by accidental asphyxiation. (Note the concern I show for your life. I obviously value it very highly. Hmm - perhaps I should work on empathy.) Although if watching this space doesn't interest you especially, please feel free to miss that out. I mean, it's not as though I have any right, nor any desire, to order you about. And I can be rather annoying. For example, I should have stopped typing before I started this paragraph, but I did not. Clearly, I should not be typing this. Perhaps all of my pent-up motivation (insert hysterical laughter here) has been waiting too long, and is now unstoppable. Perhaps I need more sleep. Perhaps I should now make steps towards getting that sleep. Yes, that is a good conclusion. Night night.
I am not entirely sure that I want to say what I have been up to since my last update. I suppose that I shall start and see what comes out...
It would appear that I am not quite so good at coping with life as I would have myself believe. After a rough couple of years (not all that bad, but somewhat wearing - I mean, there was an awful lot of good stuff happening, but the stuff that failed to happen no matter how hard I tried apparently caused me to give up), it was brought to my attention that I was not actually coping very well with life. After a few weeks of trying to get better by positive thinking/additional free time/rest and relaxation/counselling, I came to the conclusion that my brain was not going to play to any suitable timescale. The anxiety just kept being there all the time, even when there was nothing for me to be anxious about. That was wearing, too. That remains wearing, I suppose.
To cut a long, only briefly sketched, story short, I went on anti-depressants a week ago. I think that I am starting to feel a bit better. Certainly, the anxiety feels less important. I have got very good at ignoring a low level of anxiety and carrying on as normal, and as coming across as a well-adjusted person with a sense of humour (sometimes even I believe it!), but that's not really enough; constant anxiety is just stupid, and helps nobody.
So that's the story of just me and my brain. There are other things going on, though. HWSNBN is due to be moving out at the end of August, if not before, in such a way that we will no longer be partners: a break-up will ensue. This has implications for my housing situation; I cannot afford to have a whole house to myself, especially since my hours have been reduced to four days per week. I must either find somebody else to move in with me, or get rid of some of my stuff (!?!?!) and find myself a room elsewhere. I am currently advertising for another housemate (HWSNBN would move out as soon as this person was ready to move in), but I think that I should probably actually just bite the bullet and move in with someone else. It will be good for me to get rid of some of my things, and will leave me better-prepared for moving wherever I need to move when my organ building career finally takes off (2021?).
The parents have been very supportive. Having just that morning discovered that my wing mirror had been removed in the night (£200 of damage!), I drove into my parents' gate post with the back of my car. It was the other side from the missing wing mirror, so there was no way I could pretend it was the same accident! Not that I would do that, you understand. Anyway, I went inside and cried at both of my parents about the car damages, my stupidity, and my boyfriend announcing his departure, and they fed me and gave me whisky. Not much whisky, though - they were being responsible, after all. They looked after me for a very pleasant couple of days (I don't take much looking after, really - just regular cups of tea and whatever food happens to be going). They also said that I am welcome to go and live with them any time, although they did say that if I moved my stuff into my house I was only to fill Robert's bedroom to the extent that he could still get to his bed. What's the point of being the eldest if I have to abide by that sort of rules? Anyway, I was thinking that if I put his bed in the garden, that would remove that problem: I'm hardly going to want to keep my stuff in the garden, as it would get wet. He can have my tarpaulin.
I am mostly trying not to think about HWSNBN's departure. Although it is the right thing to happen, this is the guy with whom I have spent the majority of my twenties. At one point I thought I was going to marry him (OK, so it was only for a couple of months, but even so...). It is going to be very sad. I am also going to be very financially vulnerable. Sadness tinged with fear! What a tasty little combination.
Ah well - hopefully the drugs will help me to deal with the mechanics of the situation, and I can finish processing it when I am in a happier place. I think I have done enough processing of my situation to be going on with, and would like a break from that sort of thing, really. It would be very nice just to be able to cope with life like a normal person again, even when ever so slightly bad things (such as needing to turn the flashy Internet box off and on again) happen. Even when bigger bad things (such as one's boyfriend leaving one) happen.
It's all OK, really. Certainly, things feel better. Not better better, but much less bad. I have demonstrated that I have both enough motivation and enough togetherness (wrong word - do you know what I mean) to publish a blog post. Actually, that isn't technically accurate as I type, but if you have read it, then it is.
So, watch this space. But please don't hold your breath - I would hate to be held liable for your death by accidental asphyxiation. (Note the concern I show for your life. I obviously value it very highly. Hmm - perhaps I should work on empathy.) Although if watching this space doesn't interest you especially, please feel free to miss that out. I mean, it's not as though I have any right, nor any desire, to order you about. And I can be rather annoying. For example, I should have stopped typing before I started this paragraph, but I did not. Clearly, I should not be typing this. Perhaps all of my pent-up motivation (insert hysterical laughter here) has been waiting too long, and is now unstoppable. Perhaps I need more sleep. Perhaps I should now make steps towards getting that sleep. Yes, that is a good conclusion. Night night.
Monday, 29 December 2008
Another Post
Today I have been taking my car to be fixed, shopping and tidying. Apparently I am good at making a mess. You will no doubt be pleased to hear, however, that two of my cupboards are looking much better. As is a large corner of the living room. Alas, the main bit of the living room is still horrid, but the heavy tidying has been accomplished.
I have discovered that I need a new bookcase for the books I have borrowed from people and from the library. Something really accessible would be useful, as the ones I borrow are the ones in which I am the most interested at the time. I also need a place to put it. Perhaps I should clear the crap off the top shelf of my big bookcase - I could then use that shelf: a novel solution to a pressing problem.
I am also re-distributing my silicone and ice cube moulds (sorry to mix classification systems there) and storing them on top of my kitchen cupboards, rather than in the nasty damp cupboard in the corner; they tend to be hard to clean completely and have a thin film of fat left on them, which then goes mouldy. Lovely. Mind you, the rice doesn't smell too good. If I don't blog again after this happens, place bets on bad rice!
Dinner today will be king prawn curry (king prawns on offer; curry paste re-discovered in cupboard; rice already discovered but apparently needs using quickly), and should be quite hot. Alas, I am without yoghurt to cool it down. We will just have to deal with it, I suppose. HWSNBN will have to demonstrate his manliness.
I still have no New Year plans; no invitations and I'm certainly not having people round here again. Last time, it took weeks to get the carpets clean. Actually, no; it was quite the opposite: they started complaining of tiredness at about 9pm. I have never attended such a non-wild party before, nor since. I did it a second year with similar results (although with fewer people - only one was complaining at 9pm this time), but shall not do it again. Apparently my party powers are limited and can only be revived by Vlad, our non-Russian who doesn't live round here any more, but can drink most effectively. I believe he will be around again tomorrow, and that we will go out drinking. Must wrap his vodka...
Enough stream-of-consciousness blogging; must add prawns to curry! Later!
I have discovered that I need a new bookcase for the books I have borrowed from people and from the library. Something really accessible would be useful, as the ones I borrow are the ones in which I am the most interested at the time. I also need a place to put it. Perhaps I should clear the crap off the top shelf of my big bookcase - I could then use that shelf: a novel solution to a pressing problem.
I am also re-distributing my silicone and ice cube moulds (sorry to mix classification systems there) and storing them on top of my kitchen cupboards, rather than in the nasty damp cupboard in the corner; they tend to be hard to clean completely and have a thin film of fat left on them, which then goes mouldy. Lovely. Mind you, the rice doesn't smell too good. If I don't blog again after this happens, place bets on bad rice!
Dinner today will be king prawn curry (king prawns on offer; curry paste re-discovered in cupboard; rice already discovered but apparently needs using quickly), and should be quite hot. Alas, I am without yoghurt to cool it down. We will just have to deal with it, I suppose. HWSNBN will have to demonstrate his manliness.
I still have no New Year plans; no invitations and I'm certainly not having people round here again. Last time, it took weeks to get the carpets clean. Actually, no; it was quite the opposite: they started complaining of tiredness at about 9pm. I have never attended such a non-wild party before, nor since. I did it a second year with similar results (although with fewer people - only one was complaining at 9pm this time), but shall not do it again. Apparently my party powers are limited and can only be revived by Vlad, our non-Russian who doesn't live round here any more, but can drink most effectively. I believe he will be around again tomorrow, and that we will go out drinking. Must wrap his vodka...
Enough stream-of-consciousness blogging; must add prawns to curry! Later!
Friday, 19 December 2008
Woo hoo!
Work is finished for the year, and I am therefore very happy. It is amazing what knowing I have done enough work to cover me for the next two weeks can do for my state of mind. Also what sitting down doing nothing for a morning can do. You know, I haven't felt this happy and relaxed for weeks - even the fact that I am likely to leave everything to the last minute today and thus be very late for a variety of things is not worrying me right now. Yay!
I did achieve some things, though. I invited a school friend round for lunch tomorrow, I arranged a doctor's appointment to try to work out why I still can't breathe properly (1 month of using a steroid inhaler has not helped, although the reliever inhaler is definitely my friend!), and have arranged for my car to go in to the garage for a few days to see whether or not the problem can be fixed under the guarantee, and to fix it. They reckon that it probably can, but they will find out when they open it up. Oh, and I have worked my way through the truffles I got out of the freezer yesterday to take to work (I think that I observed four chocolate orgasms, which is something that I have not seen before) - they really needed eating as they do not keep well, and I now only have one left. I shall sort that out this afternoon.
Now please excuse me for a little while as I go to the Post Office to collect a parcel. Patience, please!
*******************
*******************
Sorry - that took longer than expected - had to take some stuff to the tip, too. Went to HWSNBN's mum's house and took some photos of my joinery, though, so should be able to get those into some sort of document soon, as an indication of how far I have progressed (turns out it's not very far yet). Now it is time to wrap presents, take a shower (and rinse the bleach off the wall tiles - if I come out blond you'll know what happened!) and get a move on with my day.
I shall be visiting the parents shortly (I should leave the house in 40 minutes...) and stuff. Crap. 40 minutes. Must not continue to do this when there is selecting and wrapping of presents to be achieved. I shall be very busy indeed on Tuesday, which will probably be the next time I get the opportunity to get the house tidy. Time to call HWSNBN and let him know I shall be a bit late...
I did achieve some things, though. I invited a school friend round for lunch tomorrow, I arranged a doctor's appointment to try to work out why I still can't breathe properly (1 month of using a steroid inhaler has not helped, although the reliever inhaler is definitely my friend!), and have arranged for my car to go in to the garage for a few days to see whether or not the problem can be fixed under the guarantee, and to fix it. They reckon that it probably can, but they will find out when they open it up. Oh, and I have worked my way through the truffles I got out of the freezer yesterday to take to work (I think that I observed four chocolate orgasms, which is something that I have not seen before) - they really needed eating as they do not keep well, and I now only have one left. I shall sort that out this afternoon.
Now please excuse me for a little while as I go to the Post Office to collect a parcel. Patience, please!
*******************
*******************
Sorry - that took longer than expected - had to take some stuff to the tip, too. Went to HWSNBN's mum's house and took some photos of my joinery, though, so should be able to get those into some sort of document soon, as an indication of how far I have progressed (turns out it's not very far yet). Now it is time to wrap presents, take a shower (and rinse the bleach off the wall tiles - if I come out blond you'll know what happened!) and get a move on with my day.
I shall be visiting the parents shortly (I should leave the house in 40 minutes...) and stuff. Crap. 40 minutes. Must not continue to do this when there is selecting and wrapping of presents to be achieved. I shall be very busy indeed on Tuesday, which will probably be the next time I get the opportunity to get the house tidy. Time to call HWSNBN and let him know I shall be a bit late...
Sunday, 14 December 2008
Bimbling along
I have been very busy recently. Christmas preparations always take a long time (and this year's preparations are far from over - haven't even finished the washing up from the last lot yet), and there has been a lot of rushing around, as I tend to do. Joinery is proceeding slowly but surely (I must take photos of what I have done so far, though).
I have had quite a good weekend. I had Friday off and was able finally to take the car to be serviced. It only needs £600 (?!?!?) of repairs; I am hoping that the guarantee I bought with the car less than a year ago will cover this. If it does not, I shall be a little bit upset.
On Friday afternoon we went shopping and bought our Christmas wine; we should not go thirsty this year. The supermarket had rather a lot of offers, and most of what we bought was half-price, which was useful. We had takeaway with HWSNBN's mum for tea, and as half of mine was left uneaten I had a very tasty lunch the next day.
Yesterday was mostly spent making stuff for Christmas; we then went out to a gathering to see one of my university friends who got married to an American woman and moved over there; he came back for his PhD graduation. It was lovely to see him again, and I got to clear up a couple of points with his wife. She has been a little disturbed by his habit of wondering round after a bath with a towel round his shoulders, like a cape, rather than round his waist, as is usual for a man. Although it did cover up everything which had to be covered, it was a close thing. He used to do this when he was a student (which disturbed one housemate rather a lot, but which we were used to); she had thought that maybe it was something he picked up since marriage. I can't be sure that she was reassured by this information, though...
HWSNBN accompanied me to the gathering, which he does not normally do. This group was made up of people with whom I meet on Monday evenings; HWSNBN does not go to that group. However, I think that he enjoyed himself, which pleased me a lot.
The gathering had plenty of wine, and plenty of people to whom I had not spoken for a while, and a bottle of whisky at the end. I have come to the conclusion that this is not a scenario which ends well for me; I should try to avoid getting into such situations. This morning, at about 3am, I was not feeling particularly well, which was definitely because I was too hot; I can think of no other possible explanation. I went to sleep downstairs on the settee, underneath two blankets and my sheepskin coat, and it all got better after that. HWSNBN came down to get me at 7.30, when he realised that I was missing, worried that he had upset me. Which he had not. He left to go to the farm very early - I was surprised by his enthusiasm, especially considering our late return home last night.
Right now I am sort of watching Poirot, and thinking about decorating the Christmas tree - it is sitting in the appropriate place, and will look better with baubles and lights on. That will hopefully be done before HWSNBN returns home. I then have much tidying and cooking to do, and some more making to accomplish.
I think the standard of writing here may have slipped again (certainly the frequency of updates has done so); I am trying not to get out of the habit of blogging. Perhaps things will get better after I finish work for the year on Thursday. Yay! Can't wait for that, although I have a massive list of things which must be accomplished before that point. It will be very satisfying indeed when they are done - it will be a productive 3 1/2 days!
I have had quite a good weekend. I had Friday off and was able finally to take the car to be serviced. It only needs £600 (?!?!?) of repairs; I am hoping that the guarantee I bought with the car less than a year ago will cover this. If it does not, I shall be a little bit upset.
On Friday afternoon we went shopping and bought our Christmas wine; we should not go thirsty this year. The supermarket had rather a lot of offers, and most of what we bought was half-price, which was useful. We had takeaway with HWSNBN's mum for tea, and as half of mine was left uneaten I had a very tasty lunch the next day.
Yesterday was mostly spent making stuff for Christmas; we then went out to a gathering to see one of my university friends who got married to an American woman and moved over there; he came back for his PhD graduation. It was lovely to see him again, and I got to clear up a couple of points with his wife. She has been a little disturbed by his habit of wondering round after a bath with a towel round his shoulders, like a cape, rather than round his waist, as is usual for a man. Although it did cover up everything which had to be covered, it was a close thing. He used to do this when he was a student (which disturbed one housemate rather a lot, but which we were used to); she had thought that maybe it was something he picked up since marriage. I can't be sure that she was reassured by this information, though...
HWSNBN accompanied me to the gathering, which he does not normally do. This group was made up of people with whom I meet on Monday evenings; HWSNBN does not go to that group. However, I think that he enjoyed himself, which pleased me a lot.
The gathering had plenty of wine, and plenty of people to whom I had not spoken for a while, and a bottle of whisky at the end. I have come to the conclusion that this is not a scenario which ends well for me; I should try to avoid getting into such situations. This morning, at about 3am, I was not feeling particularly well, which was definitely because I was too hot; I can think of no other possible explanation. I went to sleep downstairs on the settee, underneath two blankets and my sheepskin coat, and it all got better after that. HWSNBN came down to get me at 7.30, when he realised that I was missing, worried that he had upset me. Which he had not. He left to go to the farm very early - I was surprised by his enthusiasm, especially considering our late return home last night.
Right now I am sort of watching Poirot, and thinking about decorating the Christmas tree - it is sitting in the appropriate place, and will look better with baubles and lights on. That will hopefully be done before HWSNBN returns home. I then have much tidying and cooking to do, and some more making to accomplish.
I think the standard of writing here may have slipped again (certainly the frequency of updates has done so); I am trying not to get out of the habit of blogging. Perhaps things will get better after I finish work for the year on Thursday. Yay! Can't wait for that, although I have a massive list of things which must be accomplished before that point. It will be very satisfying indeed when they are done - it will be a productive 3 1/2 days!
Saturday, 25 October 2008
Wet
I went to the Lake District today, to visit Lydia, one of my friends, who has recently moved into a new house. The house itself is a lot nicer than mine (with the exception of its lack of double glazing and full plaster on walls); they have put a lot of effort into improving it, and it shows.
Alas, it had been raining enthusiastically for rather too many hours, and the roads in both directions (i.e. there and back) were scarcely passable in places. My valiant medium-sized car did an excellent job of not drowning (with aquaplaning on the faster roads). There was only one puddle that I didn't dare to traverse myself, and there were two extremely helpful men who let me turn off the engine and pushed me through to the other side. I was impressed, and also relieved - I really wasn't convinced my car was up to that.
Unfortunately, the long drive seems to have taken quite a lot out of me, and I am tired. Otherwise it would be faintly amusing; it has potential.
Alas, it had been raining enthusiastically for rather too many hours, and the roads in both directions (i.e. there and back) were scarcely passable in places. My valiant medium-sized car did an excellent job of not drowning (with aquaplaning on the faster roads). There was only one puddle that I didn't dare to traverse myself, and there were two extremely helpful men who let me turn off the engine and pushed me through to the other side. I was impressed, and also relieved - I really wasn't convinced my car was up to that.
Unfortunately, the long drive seems to have taken quite a lot out of me, and I am tired. Otherwise it would be faintly amusing; it has potential.
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